Noble 1.3: Last Man Standing

So, the last Noble Prettacy chapter left Handsome and Teagan flirting after a hard night of bar-tending and a minor tiff. For some strange reason I don’t quite understand (and probably never will) Handsome decided to walk away from Teagan and sat down on a bench just beyond where they were standing. Only a wall was separating them from the bench. So….Handsome walks over, sits down and the two keep talking (and flirting). Divided by a wall. And they don’t even miss a beat. It was weird….and a little awkward, but I let them do their own thing. These two are so quirky.

Weirder still was when Teagan wandered over to where Handsome was but refused to sit next to him no matter how many times I spammed the “Sit Together” option. Instead, they talked awkwardly with her looming high above him like a skyscraper. Pretty amazed he didn’t get a crick in his neck, or at least a “Tense/Sore Neck” moodlet. I know I would have. >.>

Not gonna lie, I was a little peeved by her defiance in not wanting to sit next to him, mostly because it made taking nice shots of them almost impossible. That is until I happened to pause the game for a nice shot of her face and noticed what was right behind her. Little Alexander Goth, closely (maybe a little too closely?) followed by a lady clown and a hot dog man. That clown is waaaay too close for comfort. Run Alexander! Run! Stranger danger! Is there a terrifying Halloween party I wasn’t aware of happening in Oasis Springs or something? What’s with all the costumes?

Then, as if that wasn’t odd enough, Teagan just up and left in the middle of the conversation. I get it, she’s tired. She’s had a rough night of drinking ’til dawn and is probably more than a little hungover (I wish that was an emotion, it’d be hilarious…Sims stumbling all over the place and constantly hurling…) but when she said goodbye and walked away, she did so at the exact same moment some other guy was walking past, so it looked like they were walking away together. My inner Handgan (….no…Teasome….no, Teaome…LOL. I literally googled couple name mashup generators and this is what they gave me) (http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/life/people/2007-04-05-celeb-nicknames_N.htm and http://www.couplenames.co.uk/ for giggles)….was not pleased.

Surprisingly not yet tired despite his late night escapades, I sent Handsome to work it off in the gym. Once again….look at all the womenz. Whhhy game, whhhy? OMG IS THAT A GUY BOXING IN THE BACKGROUND? With my luck it’s probably just a really hairy woman…

More women….and that scary redhead wouldn’t leave Handsome alone. She talked to him the entire time he was on the treadmill. Or really….talked AT him. He answered back sometimes, but she mostly jibber jabbered in her little corner. Pretty sure a gym is where you work out….not distract and potentially frighten its patrons. But I digress. Look at her outfit though. The Fashion Police would get a kick out of this mishap. Those socks with those shoes? Awh, honey, no. Girlfriend intervention! Townies always have the most heart wrenching fashion sense…I dunno..in S4 I’ve seen far less fashion disasters than previous games, but they still strike unfortunately. Oh, how I miss the Stylist Profession…

When Bella was spotted (good god look at that chest of hers, she could use those things as a tray), I of course had to have Handsome go over and say hello. A few people in the poll thread commented how hilarious it would be for Bella to be his baby momma so I thought I’d give it a shot. Operation Seduce Bella Goth didn’t get off to a good start.

After she offered him a smile…..I actually thought there was a slim chance of success. Talk about a fake out. Less than 10 seconds later she was frowning again and looking very displeased and like she was desperately trying to locate the nearest exit… Handsome = 0, Bella = 2. Touche, Bella. Touche.

You know, for someone studying the culinary arts….you’d think he’d make at least decent food….and be less likely to seriously injure himself while doing so? Not Handsome. Nope. If he’s not constantly chopping off his fingers one by one, he’s breaking bowls or dropping salt shakers into the food. But mostly just cutting himself and then whining about it to me later. Well, watch what you’re doing!

Apparently the finished product isn’t very good, either. Look at that face! It’s a BLT Handsome! How do you screw up and make a horrible tasting BLT? HOW? Then again….there is a toilet in close proximity to the counter and fridge. That could have something to do with it…. *ponder*

That first picture was just too priceless. He noticed she was standing at his “door” and made an “OH NO, She’s here!” face….then, when they sat down and started talking, he started rubbing at his temple. Yeah, Handsome, she gives me a headache too sometimes. But she’s still your only friend so be nice! They do get on really well though, when she isn’t having a raging crazy-person attack.

I send him to the gym constantly and it does nothing to help this poor boy. Nothing! He still has chicken legs, he hasn’t bulked up at all….and I just…I give up. From now on, all he’s going to eat are cheeseburgers.

Handsome’s first bill came to the house and when I forced him to go pay it, he immediately frowned. That’s how I feel when I have to pay my bills, too. $876, a lot more than I was expecting but he managed it thanks to his level 6 painting skill, lol. It also helped that he was promoted to Caterer. Yaaaay for promotions! Lord knows he needs the money. Ugh. I hate the sandbox.

After some more fishing, Handsome completed his first tier of aspiration challenges. Catch 10 fish and fish at 5 different locations. Wooo! Now he needs Fish for 10 hours, Reach level 4 in fishing and catch 20 fish. Not too bad…he instantly finished level 4 (he was level 5 at the time) and the 10 hours fishing (not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, he’s only been around for one Sim week and he’s already fished for 10 hours…). The catch 20 would be a cake walk though, considering how much he enjoys fishing. So I sent him down to the Oasis Springs park to do just that, but first he needed to eat so I had him grill some hot dogs. Apparently even his hot dogs aren’t appetizing.

Oh look! Waders! She must not sleep either! I figured she’d walk back when she realized there were free hot dogs, so Handsome took a seat and a bunch of people started crowding him (like usual). It took me a second to realize that the redhead that just sat down….was none other than the redhead that yelled at him in the bar and made him sad for almost two of his only seven days in Oasis Springs. Really? REALLY? I tried to make him get up and run away, but I was too slow…or she was too fast. Either way, she started yelling at him.

A lot. For no reason. Completely unprovoked. All Handsome did was give free hot dogs to the world. Seriously, what could her argument be? MUSTARD? MUSTARD?!??!? I demand ketchup! I don’t even understand what he does to get so many different sims riled up within seconds. Seconds. He barely even sat down before she started ripping him a new one. And that guy? Yeah, that smug lookin’ fella sitting right next to him? Didn’t even care.

She had a look of pure hatred on her face and poor little Handsome was more than a little scared.

Then, of course, the gardener with the smug face had to get in on the action and start mocking Handsome, too. Naturally! C’mon, man, all he wanted was some hot dogs. 😦

Yeaaaaah, Teagan was less than useful. All she did was stand there smiling at Handsome while Deja (the redhead of doom) glared daggers of disgust at him while he ate.

Deja had stopped yelling at him while he munched his hot dog, so I figured it was all over and breathed a sigh of relief. Nope. Before he could even finish she was yelling like a banshee again. They’d only met each other twice and their relationship bar was already half red.

And then…for the first time…Handsome lost it.

I guess she didn’t expect him to fight back or something because she looked a little surprised.

Her surprise didn’t last long though, because before Handsome knew it…she was raging again and uhh…judging by that look on her eye…I feared for his safety. Smug guy was smiling now. I wanted to slap the smirk off his face, seriously.

Deja is so fierce looking, I honestly thought he was going to pee his pants. It wasn’t good. He’s a scrawny little thing (despite all his training…) and she definitely looked like she could snap him in half. Or…you know…eat him.

But Handsome wasn’t backing down (whether it was bravery or stupidity, it was anyone’s guess at this point..) and the two squared off some more. Deja looked like she was about to freakin’ lose it.

And then the most hilarious thing happened. HE told HER that SHE was ugly. Considering this is a Prettacy, I’m not sure you’re right about that one, Handsome. But that appeared to be the last straw for Deja….

Because that’s when they started girl-slap fighting.

KA-CHA! KARATE!

I was rolling at this point. I honestly thought she’d make minced meat out of him, but Handsome came out the victor. She was dazed and cross-eyed as she meandered back to safety and Handsome…..well….